IT on Tour Review - Everton v Arsenal August 2014
By the legendary JQ
By the legendary JQ
“You know my temperature’s rising
And the jukebox blows a fuse.
My heart’s beatin’ rhythm
And my soul keeps Singin’ the Blues”
Ah yes, the dawn breaking all over the land, on a bright August Saturday morning. All roads leading to Dublin Port, as Irish Toffee’s from every corner clamber out of their warm, comfy beds, scratching the heads, rubbing the eyes, splashing the faces, put on the kettle, climb into their favourite Everton colours and pull various regalia out of various drawers and presses. Yes, it’s the latest and newest instalment of the legendary Irish Toffee’s Boat Trip. Everton are playing Arsenal in the first game of the 2014-15 season at Goodison Park, our Holy Grail, our Grand Old Lady, our Theatre of Dreams, our School of Science, our very own Fortress Goodison, and yes, we‘re going to be there.
We had waited patiently for weeks, talking, thinking, wondering, hoping, until the tickets and instructions arrived from IT HQ during the week, we had them safely in our hands at last, the tingle of anticipation rising in our bones as we eagerly awaited, and looked forward to, a new football season full of unbridled confidence and high expectation. The passing of the, once in a lifetime, green comet Jacques the night before, couldn’t eclipse this major event.
The highways and byeways gradually filling with moving traffic, as the various IT’s weave their way towards their date with destiny, and yes indeed, the temperature was truly rising, as JQ saw the needle hit the red, John Joe got his keys mixed up, Paul crossed his codes, alarms that had failed to go off were now ringing deafeningly and various states of panic and more panic were setting in. However, this is the IT’s, this is the first boat trip of the season and the show must go on, has to go on. Nothing was gonna stop this dedicated Blue Army. Lots of to-ing and fro-ing, frantic running hither and tither, desperate phonecalls, sheer panic attacks followed and followed again, until each and every one finally made it to the Irish Ferries terminal on time. John Joe received a massive applause on arrival for his wild and heroic journey through the deepest desert plains of the midlands. I tell ya, even Tom Crean would have been proud of him.
And there we were all in one place, being warmly welcomed on board our favourite bus by Peter Pieman and his Pie-girlettes, Áine and Lianna. Yes it’s true, this is really it, we are finally here. Lots of experienced faces and plenty of new ones also on show. It’s a great feature of the IT’s Boat Trips that there are always new, youthful, excited and expectant faces on every new expedition.
We were there from every nook and cranny you care to mention. Kilkenny, Westmeath, Offaly, Limerick, Kildare, Wicklow, Louth, Meath, were well represented. Yes we even had contingents from Kilbarrack, Stillorgan, Clondalkin…Dublin 4...I ask ya!!?? Yep, the Peters, The Joe’s, The Colm’s, The Donna’s, The Jims, The Jimmy’s, The Jame's, The Paulie’s, The Paul’s, The Alan’s, The Bernard’s, The Billy's, The Dave’s, The Colm’s, The Franks, The Frank’s, The Tom’s, The Duncan’s, The John’s The Joe‘s, The Michael‘s, The Kevin‘s, The John Doe‘s, The A.N.Others. I could just go on and on. The Clayton, Coleman and Maguire gangs were also spotted circulating among the vast throng. I don’t think even Noah’s Ark had as many different varieties and species on board.
The bus full, every available space taken and Big Dunk and Tom ensure everyone is seated comfortably, as Peter Pieman and Áine complete the opening head count of the day. Frank distributes the first sweets of the journey as the word goes out, and Paul expertly negotiates our embarkation up the ramp of the Ulysses and safely onto Deck 5. Energetic running and clambering up the sapphire stairs to Deck 9.…some used the lift….find our way to the front starboard side, claim our usual spot ,and it’s “Ships Ahoy”, before you can chant the first chorus of Everton, Everton. The 8.05am sailing was on its way.
The Pieman distributes the vouchers for the, by now legendary, Hughie’s Free Breakfast, and we make our way, in various stages, to Boylan’s Brasserie, to fuel up for the day. This has grown into one of the most eagerly awaited, indispensable and enjoyable moments of each trip, as it fortifies us, builds up our reserves and prepares us for our energy sapping invasion of Merseyside.
Appetites sated, fingers licked and we retired to our claimed spot for some friendly debate and banter, as the Clayton Gang took up their customary challenge to all-comers in the game of cards. Needless to say, they remain unbeaten and still top of the league. They even produced some magic card tricks that had people scratching their heads in various shades of admiration, confusion and exasperation.
The sailing was very smooth and some travellers went for walks around the ship, headed towards the duty free or up on deck. It was wonderful to see, not a red shirt in sight, (as Manure only play on Sunday and RS play on Monday night). We had the boat virtually to ourselves, as we paraded our Everton and Irish Toffee’s colours with pride and to great effect. We had various colours of blue, white, black, pink, yellow, all with the Chang and/or IT logos, and mostly with Coleman 23 on the back. How the Coleman Gang loved that!! To say they were cock-a-hoop would be an understatement. The crew and fellow travellers also expressed their delight, that the boat was full of Evertonians and not the usual reds. We told them that our aim is to fill the boats and planes with Blues, that our time has come, and they rejoiced to the heavens.
In no time at all, the call came to join our vehicles for disembarkation at 11.30am and Driver Paul rolled us down the ramp, and onto firm soil, to the strains of Schubert’s famous piano sonata, “10 Variations”, in F major, as the sun shone forth and welcomed us with open arms to Holyhead. The Anglesea landscape looked magical and the crowds lined the avenues, as we made our way towards the A55 and on towards Goodison Road. The animals in the fields took a break from their grazing and nodded enviously as we passed, the off-shore windmills waved in unison and glinted in appreciation, the sea waves lapped the shore in a rhythmic dance and the passing motorists honked and hooted with wild abandon, and all in our honour. Yes, this was going to be another classic…..we could feel it, as J.O‘R handed out the free bottles of water to the thirsty crew.
Peter Pieman and Áine quickly organised the “Golden Goal” and “Attendance Prediction” competitions, and then it was time for the ultra-legendary J.O’R Quiz, Quiz. This time it was titled “The sitbesidefrankconnollyashealwayswins Quiz”. The free answer papers and biros were handed out and the quizmeister quickly machinegunned his quizzical questions at us. The ratt-att-tatt-tatt soon had the footie experts perplexed and that was even before the general knowledge. “Aah come on Joe”, “for fcuks sake”, “that couldn’t be the bleedin’ answer”, “what was the question again”, “can ya repeat that?”, “I know that. Let me see, let me see”, “I know it, I know it“, “ It‘s on the tip o‘ me tongue“, “Aaah Joe, come on!!??” As usual, J.O’R stood firm in the face of flying flak, not givin’ a frak, and the questions were doled out with brutal force and a distinct lack of mercy, but all in the best possible taste of course.
The Quiz Quiz and competitions ended and an exhausted, exasperated, but relieved crew disembarked the bus at our first pit stop. Where once we had sea view wc’s al fresco, we now had a spanking, brand new Starbucks, to attend to our every need. We couldn’t believe our eyes, where did this spring out of, was someone taking the piss? This was, it would seem, another work of IT magic, conducted in the off-season. The IT’s are really upping their game now, the bar has been raised, and of course we availed of every service on offer. Donna was disappointed though, as the sale of handbags took another, seriously downward trend….another case of the multi-nationals killing local business it seems!!?? Anyway, a quick photo-opportunity later, Bernard was really snap happy on this trip, Gary grinned from ear to ear, we boarded our bus once again, and continued on our onward journey to the promised land.
The results of “The sitbesidefrankconnollyashealwayswins Quiz” quiz were soon announced, and sure enough, it did what it says on the tin,,,,and the winner is…….f..f..f….F.R.A.N.K……Connolly!! Sure enough Frank, and his new strike force partner, Fra, waltzed up, collected their prize and their wee cups, as the noise from the clapping and cheering filled the Welsh valleys. It seemed there were prizes for everyone in the audience too, as J.O’R kept fishing them out of the bespoke black bag. Gary and the Clayton’s were in the mix and pushed Fra n Fra all the way. The winners of the L Plates for the score of 11...unusually high for this competition…..was won by virtual newcomers, The Maguire Gang, who delighted in waving their shiny new L Plates for the assembled masses. These guys are showing some promise and will be a force to be reckoned with in the near future.
With the winners finally announced, the stress of the whole occasion, quickly lifted from the shoulders of the exhausted organiser in chief, Mr. Pieman, and he collapsed in a heap beside Paul in the front seat and grabbed some much needed rest. Some people at the back thought he was actually driving and had to be convinced that it was really a case of eyes wide shut. Driver Paul was still guiding us on our trail to the holy grail and onwards we went.
2pm, through the toll bridge, under the Mersey Tunnel and the landmark of Liverpool Cathedral quickly came into view. Yes indeed, the boys were back in town. Some decided to head for the city centre to avail of some shopping and take in The Annual Beatles Weekend Celebration. The rest drove on to Goodison, to take in the pre-match atmosphere, head to the Everton One Store, join in the banter at The Winslow, sample the entertainment at the Park End, watch the Everton players arrive, watch the Arsenal team bus arrive, buy some programmes, Everton magazines, match day badges, fish n chips at the Blue Dragon, more colours, people and the usual celebrity watch. Jamie Carragher was spotted having his photo taken with some young Blues.
Both ends of Goodison are emblazoned with large Pictures of our new Messiah, Roberto Martinez, and it is clear he has quickly become an Everton hero. There is indeed, a new atmosphere around here. As usual, activities were taking place in St. Luke’s Church. There was a very interesting display of memorabilia and photos from the 1966 World Cup. Some of the games were played at Goodison, featuring the likes of Eusebio and Pele. The surrounding streets were full of people and colour and a fabulous celebration was had by all who were there. It gave a great insight into the celebrations of that historical time.
St. Lukes has always been intrinsically linked to Everton F.C. and offers tea, sandwiches, cakes, scones etc on match days in aid of the church development. It has become a meeting place for many Evertonians. Upstairs often has old match programmes, posters, pictures, books etc for sale, in aid of the former players association. They often have book signings and new book releases. This week the new Dave Hickson biography was for sale. It and other books were on sale at a much cheaper price than the mega-store. They were also showing videos of previous Everton v Arsenal matches. It’s an interesting place to spend some time in.
A quick visit to say hello to the Dixie Dean statue and touch the Irish Toffee’s Plaque on the wall of fame, and on into the Upper-deck of the Bullens, where most of our crew were located. It was great to take in the full pre-match warm-ups, team announcements, entertainments etc. Big Dunk took up position, slightly behind and to the left of the IT’s to watch over and protect us from all harm. The sun was shining and the pitch looked fantastic.
We had waited patiently for weeks, talking, thinking, wondering, hoping, until the tickets and instructions arrived from IT HQ during the week, we had them safely in our hands at last, the tingle of anticipation rising in our bones as we eagerly awaited, and looked forward to, a new football season full of unbridled confidence and high expectation. The passing of the, once in a lifetime, green comet Jacques the night before, couldn’t eclipse this major event.
The highways and byeways gradually filling with moving traffic, as the various IT’s weave their way towards their date with destiny, and yes indeed, the temperature was truly rising, as JQ saw the needle hit the red, John Joe got his keys mixed up, Paul crossed his codes, alarms that had failed to go off were now ringing deafeningly and various states of panic and more panic were setting in. However, this is the IT’s, this is the first boat trip of the season and the show must go on, has to go on. Nothing was gonna stop this dedicated Blue Army. Lots of to-ing and fro-ing, frantic running hither and tither, desperate phonecalls, sheer panic attacks followed and followed again, until each and every one finally made it to the Irish Ferries terminal on time. John Joe received a massive applause on arrival for his wild and heroic journey through the deepest desert plains of the midlands. I tell ya, even Tom Crean would have been proud of him.
And there we were all in one place, being warmly welcomed on board our favourite bus by Peter Pieman and his Pie-girlettes, Áine and Lianna. Yes it’s true, this is really it, we are finally here. Lots of experienced faces and plenty of new ones also on show. It’s a great feature of the IT’s Boat Trips that there are always new, youthful, excited and expectant faces on every new expedition.
We were there from every nook and cranny you care to mention. Kilkenny, Westmeath, Offaly, Limerick, Kildare, Wicklow, Louth, Meath, were well represented. Yes we even had contingents from Kilbarrack, Stillorgan, Clondalkin…Dublin 4...I ask ya!!?? Yep, the Peters, The Joe’s, The Colm’s, The Donna’s, The Jims, The Jimmy’s, The Jame's, The Paulie’s, The Paul’s, The Alan’s, The Bernard’s, The Billy's, The Dave’s, The Colm’s, The Franks, The Frank’s, The Tom’s, The Duncan’s, The John’s The Joe‘s, The Michael‘s, The Kevin‘s, The John Doe‘s, The A.N.Others. I could just go on and on. The Clayton, Coleman and Maguire gangs were also spotted circulating among the vast throng. I don’t think even Noah’s Ark had as many different varieties and species on board.
The bus full, every available space taken and Big Dunk and Tom ensure everyone is seated comfortably, as Peter Pieman and Áine complete the opening head count of the day. Frank distributes the first sweets of the journey as the word goes out, and Paul expertly negotiates our embarkation up the ramp of the Ulysses and safely onto Deck 5. Energetic running and clambering up the sapphire stairs to Deck 9.…some used the lift….find our way to the front starboard side, claim our usual spot ,and it’s “Ships Ahoy”, before you can chant the first chorus of Everton, Everton. The 8.05am sailing was on its way.
The Pieman distributes the vouchers for the, by now legendary, Hughie’s Free Breakfast, and we make our way, in various stages, to Boylan’s Brasserie, to fuel up for the day. This has grown into one of the most eagerly awaited, indispensable and enjoyable moments of each trip, as it fortifies us, builds up our reserves and prepares us for our energy sapping invasion of Merseyside.
Appetites sated, fingers licked and we retired to our claimed spot for some friendly debate and banter, as the Clayton Gang took up their customary challenge to all-comers in the game of cards. Needless to say, they remain unbeaten and still top of the league. They even produced some magic card tricks that had people scratching their heads in various shades of admiration, confusion and exasperation.
The sailing was very smooth and some travellers went for walks around the ship, headed towards the duty free or up on deck. It was wonderful to see, not a red shirt in sight, (as Manure only play on Sunday and RS play on Monday night). We had the boat virtually to ourselves, as we paraded our Everton and Irish Toffee’s colours with pride and to great effect. We had various colours of blue, white, black, pink, yellow, all with the Chang and/or IT logos, and mostly with Coleman 23 on the back. How the Coleman Gang loved that!! To say they were cock-a-hoop would be an understatement. The crew and fellow travellers also expressed their delight, that the boat was full of Evertonians and not the usual reds. We told them that our aim is to fill the boats and planes with Blues, that our time has come, and they rejoiced to the heavens.
In no time at all, the call came to join our vehicles for disembarkation at 11.30am and Driver Paul rolled us down the ramp, and onto firm soil, to the strains of Schubert’s famous piano sonata, “10 Variations”, in F major, as the sun shone forth and welcomed us with open arms to Holyhead. The Anglesea landscape looked magical and the crowds lined the avenues, as we made our way towards the A55 and on towards Goodison Road. The animals in the fields took a break from their grazing and nodded enviously as we passed, the off-shore windmills waved in unison and glinted in appreciation, the sea waves lapped the shore in a rhythmic dance and the passing motorists honked and hooted with wild abandon, and all in our honour. Yes, this was going to be another classic…..we could feel it, as J.O‘R handed out the free bottles of water to the thirsty crew.
Peter Pieman and Áine quickly organised the “Golden Goal” and “Attendance Prediction” competitions, and then it was time for the ultra-legendary J.O’R Quiz, Quiz. This time it was titled “The sitbesidefrankconnollyashealwayswins Quiz”. The free answer papers and biros were handed out and the quizmeister quickly machinegunned his quizzical questions at us. The ratt-att-tatt-tatt soon had the footie experts perplexed and that was even before the general knowledge. “Aah come on Joe”, “for fcuks sake”, “that couldn’t be the bleedin’ answer”, “what was the question again”, “can ya repeat that?”, “I know that. Let me see, let me see”, “I know it, I know it“, “ It‘s on the tip o‘ me tongue“, “Aaah Joe, come on!!??” As usual, J.O’R stood firm in the face of flying flak, not givin’ a frak, and the questions were doled out with brutal force and a distinct lack of mercy, but all in the best possible taste of course.
The Quiz Quiz and competitions ended and an exhausted, exasperated, but relieved crew disembarked the bus at our first pit stop. Where once we had sea view wc’s al fresco, we now had a spanking, brand new Starbucks, to attend to our every need. We couldn’t believe our eyes, where did this spring out of, was someone taking the piss? This was, it would seem, another work of IT magic, conducted in the off-season. The IT’s are really upping their game now, the bar has been raised, and of course we availed of every service on offer. Donna was disappointed though, as the sale of handbags took another, seriously downward trend….another case of the multi-nationals killing local business it seems!!?? Anyway, a quick photo-opportunity later, Bernard was really snap happy on this trip, Gary grinned from ear to ear, we boarded our bus once again, and continued on our onward journey to the promised land.
The results of “The sitbesidefrankconnollyashealwayswins Quiz” quiz were soon announced, and sure enough, it did what it says on the tin,,,,and the winner is…….f..f..f….F.R.A.N.K……Connolly!! Sure enough Frank, and his new strike force partner, Fra, waltzed up, collected their prize and their wee cups, as the noise from the clapping and cheering filled the Welsh valleys. It seemed there were prizes for everyone in the audience too, as J.O’R kept fishing them out of the bespoke black bag. Gary and the Clayton’s were in the mix and pushed Fra n Fra all the way. The winners of the L Plates for the score of 11...unusually high for this competition…..was won by virtual newcomers, The Maguire Gang, who delighted in waving their shiny new L Plates for the assembled masses. These guys are showing some promise and will be a force to be reckoned with in the near future.
With the winners finally announced, the stress of the whole occasion, quickly lifted from the shoulders of the exhausted organiser in chief, Mr. Pieman, and he collapsed in a heap beside Paul in the front seat and grabbed some much needed rest. Some people at the back thought he was actually driving and had to be convinced that it was really a case of eyes wide shut. Driver Paul was still guiding us on our trail to the holy grail and onwards we went.
2pm, through the toll bridge, under the Mersey Tunnel and the landmark of Liverpool Cathedral quickly came into view. Yes indeed, the boys were back in town. Some decided to head for the city centre to avail of some shopping and take in The Annual Beatles Weekend Celebration. The rest drove on to Goodison, to take in the pre-match atmosphere, head to the Everton One Store, join in the banter at The Winslow, sample the entertainment at the Park End, watch the Everton players arrive, watch the Arsenal team bus arrive, buy some programmes, Everton magazines, match day badges, fish n chips at the Blue Dragon, more colours, people and the usual celebrity watch. Jamie Carragher was spotted having his photo taken with some young Blues.
Both ends of Goodison are emblazoned with large Pictures of our new Messiah, Roberto Martinez, and it is clear he has quickly become an Everton hero. There is indeed, a new atmosphere around here. As usual, activities were taking place in St. Luke’s Church. There was a very interesting display of memorabilia and photos from the 1966 World Cup. Some of the games were played at Goodison, featuring the likes of Eusebio and Pele. The surrounding streets were full of people and colour and a fabulous celebration was had by all who were there. It gave a great insight into the celebrations of that historical time.
St. Lukes has always been intrinsically linked to Everton F.C. and offers tea, sandwiches, cakes, scones etc on match days in aid of the church development. It has become a meeting place for many Evertonians. Upstairs often has old match programmes, posters, pictures, books etc for sale, in aid of the former players association. They often have book signings and new book releases. This week the new Dave Hickson biography was for sale. It and other books were on sale at a much cheaper price than the mega-store. They were also showing videos of previous Everton v Arsenal matches. It’s an interesting place to spend some time in.
A quick visit to say hello to the Dixie Dean statue and touch the Irish Toffee’s Plaque on the wall of fame, and on into the Upper-deck of the Bullens, where most of our crew were located. It was great to take in the full pre-match warm-ups, team announcements, entertainments etc. Big Dunk took up position, slightly behind and to the left of the IT’s to watch over and protect us from all harm. The sun was shining and the pitch looked fantastic.
The Winslow looking better than it ever has. Click on picture for Photo Gallery of the weekend.
The stadium quickly fills up and Everton take the field to the tune of Z Cars for the 5.30pm start. The Gwlady’s end is in full voice and every Everton song is sung with passion and pride. There was one hell of a noise and atmosphere as Everton kicked-off and proceeded to play some wonderful football. Pienaar, who was linking up well with Baines, took some heavy knocks, was injured and replaced by Osman. It didn’t weaken us though, as first, Coleman scored a fabulous headed goal, and the stadium erupted, “60 grand, 60 grand Seamus Coleman”…and again, our Coleman Gang smiled and bowed to the almost 40,000 crowd who were singing and chanting in their honour. A 2-0 lead opened up before halftime with a wonderful Naismith goal from a great Lukaku move and pass.
Ah yes, the half-time break, “we were brilliant, could we keep it going, another 3 points for the taking, we’re on our way. The school of science is back“.
Second half and we start well again, had a few chances, but slowly and ominously, Arsenal seem to be gaining a foothold, we are lying back a bit, the defence looking a bit jittery, Barry, McCarthy, Lukaku limping, and we begin to feel that terrible feeling. 7 minutes to go, surely we’ll hold out, no…they look more and more like scoring…..then bang…Ramsey…0-1...so, so easy it’s unbelievable…….Giroud, from nowhere…booomp…2-2.…for fcuks sake ref, blow this fcukn game up…it could be 2-3 if this goes on any longer. Where’s Jags and Distin FFS?? After what seemed an interminable length of time, Large whistle, Large sigh of relief and exhalation of nervous, bated breath…...2-2...and it felt like a defeat. We had dominated for so long, played Arsenal off the pitch…and end up with a lucky enough 2-2 draw in the finish. Why does it always have to be this way??
Anyway, a last longing look at our beloved green sward and stadium of Blue, we head back out to the real world. Some head back to the Winslow, some back into town, some for a walk around the ground, others to Stanley Park and others to the Park End to take up the last of the entertainments and meet the team coming out. The players took time to sign autographs for the fans, even though the autumnal chill was taking hold. We were alarmed to see Coleman and Lukaku both limping badly, but they assured us they were ok. It was also nice to see some Arsenal fans mixing with the Everton supporters and getting players autographs. They had picture cards of players from all the premiership clubs and were getting them signed.
We meet Driver Paul and the bus at the appointed time of 9pm and head back into town. The talk is all about the game. MOTM toss-up between Naismith and McCarthy who were both immense, closely followed by Coleman, Baines, Mirallas and Barry. McGeady looked sharp when he come on and it was also good to see Atsu make his debut when he came on late, but didn’t get much of a chance to shine this time. We look forward to seeing him again. We were disappointed that Besic didn’t get a run. We’d like to have seen Gibson also. The general feeling of disappointment at the loss of 2pts was gradually abating, as we realised that Arsenal are a very good side and we more than held our own with a so called top 4 team. At least a point was gained and if we keep playing like this, then we’ll be alright.
Back into the city centre, The Pieman proudly unfurling his new bakers hat in the Everton colours, Driver Paul parks up the bus with instructions that we’ll be leaving at 11pm sharp. Some went to Rigby’s, others to their favourite restaurant, others for a walk to the docks or Matthew St., where Beatles related music filled the air and there was a great party atmosphere.
Everyone arrives happily back to the bus and we leave for Holyhead on time. Of course, it wasn’t long before legendary master of ceremonies, Big Dunk, cast his beady brow around the bus and announced the line-up for the latest edition of the Rolling Thunder Revue. Everyone cowered in panic and hid behind the seat in front of them, for fear their name would be called. Big Dunk himself started proceedings with a medley of his greatest hits from Jungle Book and threatened more of that if we didn’t carry out his wishes.
Peter Pieman continued to cajole and encourage, with his own inimitable versions of songs about wheelchairs falling over cliffs, tweedle dees and diddley eyes. His range from falsetto to super bass knows no limits. Gary bounced into action with a full rendition of all his Everton songs and rounded it up re-visiting the mod era with rousing renditions of Squeeze and Paul Weller songs. Yeah, he was the koolest kat on the planet tonight alright. He promises to take his moth eaten gear out of the wardrobe and wear it for our delight and delectation on the next trip.
J.O’R, on the eve of the release of his much awaited 5th album, all about romance and other things, then sang so sweetly about his girl and how he loved her as much as any spicy chicken box. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house and even Donna was seen to be fumbling for a tissue. We predict another massive hit on the way for J.O’R.
Big Dunk then ordered some new talent, unheard of before, to take the stage. The Clayton Choir took up the challenge and one quarter of them bounded to the top of the bus and sang about keeping your left leg in and your left leg out. Everyone joined in and Paul had to open all the doors in the bus to make room, but he drew the line at shaking them all about and turning around.
Not to be outdone, half the Coleman Choir sprang into action and provided us with rocking rolling renditions of all the country balls they attended down through the years. This really had the bus stomping. These guys really get around I can tell ya and know how to throw a party. Big Dunk promised a dance floor on the next bus.
They were quickly followed by another newcomer making his honourable debut, as Colm was joined on stage by the, specially for the occasion, legendary Eagles, and gave as stirring a version of Hotel California as you’re ever likely to hear. Don Henley looked very emotional and we all said we’d definitely book into this hotel on Everton’s pre-season tour of America next year.
There was some disappointment when the moody and reclusive JQ didn’t show up, as is his wont and style, blaming it on the poor alignment of the moon and the aurora borealis. Something to do with the Jacque comet throwing the X axis off kilter. Quirfy also failed to show, saying their drummer went on a drink and drug fuelled binge, broke his wrist putting his fist through a security door and was arrested running naked around klanfield and shouting at strangers. Donna promised she would leave the full un-edited version of Oklahoma for the next trip, as she needs more rehearsal time, and Tom pretended to be asleep in order to avoid a call-up.
Ah yes, the half-time break, “we were brilliant, could we keep it going, another 3 points for the taking, we’re on our way. The school of science is back“.
Second half and we start well again, had a few chances, but slowly and ominously, Arsenal seem to be gaining a foothold, we are lying back a bit, the defence looking a bit jittery, Barry, McCarthy, Lukaku limping, and we begin to feel that terrible feeling. 7 minutes to go, surely we’ll hold out, no…they look more and more like scoring…..then bang…Ramsey…0-1...so, so easy it’s unbelievable…….Giroud, from nowhere…booomp…2-2.…for fcuks sake ref, blow this fcukn game up…it could be 2-3 if this goes on any longer. Where’s Jags and Distin FFS?? After what seemed an interminable length of time, Large whistle, Large sigh of relief and exhalation of nervous, bated breath…...2-2...and it felt like a defeat. We had dominated for so long, played Arsenal off the pitch…and end up with a lucky enough 2-2 draw in the finish. Why does it always have to be this way??
Anyway, a last longing look at our beloved green sward and stadium of Blue, we head back out to the real world. Some head back to the Winslow, some back into town, some for a walk around the ground, others to Stanley Park and others to the Park End to take up the last of the entertainments and meet the team coming out. The players took time to sign autographs for the fans, even though the autumnal chill was taking hold. We were alarmed to see Coleman and Lukaku both limping badly, but they assured us they were ok. It was also nice to see some Arsenal fans mixing with the Everton supporters and getting players autographs. They had picture cards of players from all the premiership clubs and were getting them signed.
We meet Driver Paul and the bus at the appointed time of 9pm and head back into town. The talk is all about the game. MOTM toss-up between Naismith and McCarthy who were both immense, closely followed by Coleman, Baines, Mirallas and Barry. McGeady looked sharp when he come on and it was also good to see Atsu make his debut when he came on late, but didn’t get much of a chance to shine this time. We look forward to seeing him again. We were disappointed that Besic didn’t get a run. We’d like to have seen Gibson also. The general feeling of disappointment at the loss of 2pts was gradually abating, as we realised that Arsenal are a very good side and we more than held our own with a so called top 4 team. At least a point was gained and if we keep playing like this, then we’ll be alright.
Back into the city centre, The Pieman proudly unfurling his new bakers hat in the Everton colours, Driver Paul parks up the bus with instructions that we’ll be leaving at 11pm sharp. Some went to Rigby’s, others to their favourite restaurant, others for a walk to the docks or Matthew St., where Beatles related music filled the air and there was a great party atmosphere.
Everyone arrives happily back to the bus and we leave for Holyhead on time. Of course, it wasn’t long before legendary master of ceremonies, Big Dunk, cast his beady brow around the bus and announced the line-up for the latest edition of the Rolling Thunder Revue. Everyone cowered in panic and hid behind the seat in front of them, for fear their name would be called. Big Dunk himself started proceedings with a medley of his greatest hits from Jungle Book and threatened more of that if we didn’t carry out his wishes.
Peter Pieman continued to cajole and encourage, with his own inimitable versions of songs about wheelchairs falling over cliffs, tweedle dees and diddley eyes. His range from falsetto to super bass knows no limits. Gary bounced into action with a full rendition of all his Everton songs and rounded it up re-visiting the mod era with rousing renditions of Squeeze and Paul Weller songs. Yeah, he was the koolest kat on the planet tonight alright. He promises to take his moth eaten gear out of the wardrobe and wear it for our delight and delectation on the next trip.
J.O’R, on the eve of the release of his much awaited 5th album, all about romance and other things, then sang so sweetly about his girl and how he loved her as much as any spicy chicken box. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house and even Donna was seen to be fumbling for a tissue. We predict another massive hit on the way for J.O’R.
Big Dunk then ordered some new talent, unheard of before, to take the stage. The Clayton Choir took up the challenge and one quarter of them bounded to the top of the bus and sang about keeping your left leg in and your left leg out. Everyone joined in and Paul had to open all the doors in the bus to make room, but he drew the line at shaking them all about and turning around.
Not to be outdone, half the Coleman Choir sprang into action and provided us with rocking rolling renditions of all the country balls they attended down through the years. This really had the bus stomping. These guys really get around I can tell ya and know how to throw a party. Big Dunk promised a dance floor on the next bus.
They were quickly followed by another newcomer making his honourable debut, as Colm was joined on stage by the, specially for the occasion, legendary Eagles, and gave as stirring a version of Hotel California as you’re ever likely to hear. Don Henley looked very emotional and we all said we’d definitely book into this hotel on Everton’s pre-season tour of America next year.
There was some disappointment when the moody and reclusive JQ didn’t show up, as is his wont and style, blaming it on the poor alignment of the moon and the aurora borealis. Something to do with the Jacque comet throwing the X axis off kilter. Quirfy also failed to show, saying their drummer went on a drink and drug fuelled binge, broke his wrist putting his fist through a security door and was arrested running naked around klanfield and shouting at strangers. Donna promised she would leave the full un-edited version of Oklahoma for the next trip, as she needs more rehearsal time, and Tom pretended to be asleep in order to avoid a call-up.
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Big Dunk resolved to sort the constellations for the next trip, said he’d book the Quirfy drummer into the legendary drying out clinic in the deepest mountains of outer Mongolia, instructed Donna to increase rehearsal time and would provide Tom with specially formulated potion guaranteed to prevent sleep. Next time there would be no excuses.
Despite these re-assurances, the crowd was getting anxious and impatient. Tensions were rising, “what we gonna do til Holyhead?“, “FFS”, “rolling revue me arsenal” “yer not gettn me up ta sing!!??“ etc etc. It was then that Big Dunk pulled the rabbit out of the hat so to speak and gloriously saved the revue, when he conjured some real magic right before our eyes, by beaming Geraldine up from somewhere, somehow. There she was, magically stationed at the front of the bus, singing passionately into the mic, surrounded, encircled, enveloped, by a swirling, misty, purple haze. The delighted, mesmerised and thrilled audience, quickly joined in as Geraldine gave a reprise of her most famous hit, Ireland’s Call. Even Driver Paul was seen to take out his ear plugs and turn his head in shock n awe…and admiration, while Peter Pieman manfully maintained control of the bus trajectory in true Keanu Reeves style. Yes, the Rolling Thunder Revue was saved, Big Dunk was a hero once again. That’s our Big Dunk for ya, as we were blinded by the glint from his toothy grin.
A short stop at our usual McDonald‘s oasis for some light refreshments, and the journey continued as Big Dunk and Gary captivated the crew with their joke-a-thon, and the bus rolled around in stitches. To great cheering, it was announced that Driver Paul won the Attendance Prediction and Dave won the Golden Goal, before Peter Pieman swept us into Holyhead with his version of the Vietnam and anti-war classic, Rooobee..ee…eeey…don’t take your love to town. In no time at all we were aboard our favourite ship and bound for Dublin Port.
Some made for the reclining seats to grab some shuteye, others to the restaurant, more to the bar, but most of us gathered near the tv to see re-runs of the matches and to talk over the days games and the trip. The Claytons performed more magic card tricks to keep us awake and we discussed important matters like Dr. Strangenose (you had to be there), old brown shoes, Evertons history and how we are Everton. We discussed future trips and were shocked to learn that the Europa League could scupper them in the short-term, as fixtures are difficult to predict. We resolved to wait for the Europa draw next Friday and see if we could make any European jaunts. Watch this space….we know Big Dunk can make it happen.
Gary went for a walk and came back with a magic wand and skipping rope. He said we’d know why on the next trip…..gulp!!!
We finally gave MOTM to Naismith, whose improvement in the Everton shirt has been immense. Our choice was cemented when Gary told us how he was recovering from a serious injury when he first joined Everton and worked really hard to get fit and get into the team. He has become a favourite with the fans, as he lives with the common people, drives a small mini-cooper, works tirelessly for local charities and buys match tickets for local disadvantaged youth etc etc. None of your celebrity junkie, media huggin‘, publicity lovin’ wannabee here. This indeed is the very soul of Everton, it‘s why we are the people‘s club. Yes, Stephen Naismith is fast becoming a legendary emblem and hero of Everton and the Irish Toffee‘s.
5.45am arrives faster than expected and a sleepy crew gathers on the bus before Driver Paul guides us down the ramp and onto the home soil again. We all thanked Driver Paul, the committee, Big Dunk, Tom, Peter and his Pie-girlettes, J.O’R and indeed the whole crew for making another trip possible and adding another chapter to the legend that is The Irish Toffee’s Boat Trip. We promised to meet again as soon as possible and said our reluctant farewells at the pay station.
A quick check of the temperature guages and coolant levels, a thorough inspection of keys, an examination of codes and we were all on our way, filling up the highways and byeways again, as all roads led out of Dublin Port and home. Joe and Donna said they were going to sell the unsold handbags outside the IFSC. They intend re-opening the Dandelion Market and sell Joe’s albums exclusively from there.
“You know my temperature’s rising
And the jukebox blows a fuse.
My heart’s beatin’ rhythm
And my soul keeps Singin’ the Blues”
Until the next time.
Oh Hokey, hokey pokey. Oh hokey, hokey pokey.
Come On You Blues.
(Many thanks to JQ yet again for another magic review. You can check out a photo gallery of the weekend here.
Despite these re-assurances, the crowd was getting anxious and impatient. Tensions were rising, “what we gonna do til Holyhead?“, “FFS”, “rolling revue me arsenal” “yer not gettn me up ta sing!!??“ etc etc. It was then that Big Dunk pulled the rabbit out of the hat so to speak and gloriously saved the revue, when he conjured some real magic right before our eyes, by beaming Geraldine up from somewhere, somehow. There she was, magically stationed at the front of the bus, singing passionately into the mic, surrounded, encircled, enveloped, by a swirling, misty, purple haze. The delighted, mesmerised and thrilled audience, quickly joined in as Geraldine gave a reprise of her most famous hit, Ireland’s Call. Even Driver Paul was seen to take out his ear plugs and turn his head in shock n awe…and admiration, while Peter Pieman manfully maintained control of the bus trajectory in true Keanu Reeves style. Yes, the Rolling Thunder Revue was saved, Big Dunk was a hero once again. That’s our Big Dunk for ya, as we were blinded by the glint from his toothy grin.
A short stop at our usual McDonald‘s oasis for some light refreshments, and the journey continued as Big Dunk and Gary captivated the crew with their joke-a-thon, and the bus rolled around in stitches. To great cheering, it was announced that Driver Paul won the Attendance Prediction and Dave won the Golden Goal, before Peter Pieman swept us into Holyhead with his version of the Vietnam and anti-war classic, Rooobee..ee…eeey…don’t take your love to town. In no time at all we were aboard our favourite ship and bound for Dublin Port.
Some made for the reclining seats to grab some shuteye, others to the restaurant, more to the bar, but most of us gathered near the tv to see re-runs of the matches and to talk over the days games and the trip. The Claytons performed more magic card tricks to keep us awake and we discussed important matters like Dr. Strangenose (you had to be there), old brown shoes, Evertons history and how we are Everton. We discussed future trips and were shocked to learn that the Europa League could scupper them in the short-term, as fixtures are difficult to predict. We resolved to wait for the Europa draw next Friday and see if we could make any European jaunts. Watch this space….we know Big Dunk can make it happen.
Gary went for a walk and came back with a magic wand and skipping rope. He said we’d know why on the next trip…..gulp!!!
We finally gave MOTM to Naismith, whose improvement in the Everton shirt has been immense. Our choice was cemented when Gary told us how he was recovering from a serious injury when he first joined Everton and worked really hard to get fit and get into the team. He has become a favourite with the fans, as he lives with the common people, drives a small mini-cooper, works tirelessly for local charities and buys match tickets for local disadvantaged youth etc etc. None of your celebrity junkie, media huggin‘, publicity lovin’ wannabee here. This indeed is the very soul of Everton, it‘s why we are the people‘s club. Yes, Stephen Naismith is fast becoming a legendary emblem and hero of Everton and the Irish Toffee‘s.
5.45am arrives faster than expected and a sleepy crew gathers on the bus before Driver Paul guides us down the ramp and onto the home soil again. We all thanked Driver Paul, the committee, Big Dunk, Tom, Peter and his Pie-girlettes, J.O’R and indeed the whole crew for making another trip possible and adding another chapter to the legend that is The Irish Toffee’s Boat Trip. We promised to meet again as soon as possible and said our reluctant farewells at the pay station.
A quick check of the temperature guages and coolant levels, a thorough inspection of keys, an examination of codes and we were all on our way, filling up the highways and byeways again, as all roads led out of Dublin Port and home. Joe and Donna said they were going to sell the unsold handbags outside the IFSC. They intend re-opening the Dandelion Market and sell Joe’s albums exclusively from there.
“You know my temperature’s rising
And the jukebox blows a fuse.
My heart’s beatin’ rhythm
And my soul keeps Singin’ the Blues”
Until the next time.
Oh Hokey, hokey pokey. Oh hokey, hokey pokey.
Come On You Blues.
(Many thanks to JQ yet again for another magic review. You can check out a photo gallery of the weekend here.
